Can Someone Please Edit My Essay on Social Work?
I am applying to the Master’s Program in Social Work because I want to help others maximize their potential and steer their lives in a positive direction. I am concerned with the needs of everyone in my community and I am passionate about helping our most vulnerable individuals, specifically our troubled and neglected youth. I want to become a social worker so I can empower these individuals to help them overcome their problems and change their lives for the better.
I am a thirty-four-year-old woman who has overcome challenges in my life such as a period of homelessness. I have escaped that downward spiral and put my life on a positive track. Sometimes life can be challenging, but if you are able to persevere, you came come out a stronger person because of those situations. I understand the despair and frustration to those who find coping with everyday life difficult Developing a sense of one’s own power can make the difference between a future of despondency or one filled with hope.
I had a mentor in my life who taught and guided me and because of this I recognized the impact she had on my life inspired me to want to help others. I want to use the knowledge and understanding I have gained to assist people in changing their lives for the better. I believe education is the key to being best able to help. Specifically, a Master’s degree in Social Work would put me in the greatest position for achieving my goal. It was a social worker on Skid Row Los Angeles who started me on the path toward healing my own life. She provided me with the constant support and a sense of hope. Six months later, I found a job as a youth counselor, working with adolescents who had stories similar to mine. This was my professional calling to pursue a career in helping young people during the time I worked at Harbor View Adolescent Center, a level-fourteen group home facility.
In my job as a youth counselor, my primary work responsibility was to serve as a positive role model for adolescents aged twelve to eighteen. The residents’ backgrounds included being homeless and being victims of physical and sexual abuse. Some of them had problems with drug and alcohol abuse, depression, and the criminal justice system. At times, my job was extremely stressful. But I discovered that I had the ability to connect with the adolescents and develop strong emotional ties with them. I focused on helping them with their social skills, coping skills, and independent living skills. My main goal was to help them build their self-esteem and improve their sense of security. As a youth counselor, I learned the value of listening to adolescents in order to be able to guide them in making positive decisions that improve the quality of their lives.
The guiding principle of my life is that each of us has a duty to help and serve others, to seek out marginalized and less fortunate individuals of our communities and offer any aid that we can. I have always lived by the motto" do unto others as you would have done to you", and feel that the best way to do this by furthering the ideal of social justice in the way I live and work. Social justice, as I see it, is the value system that recognizes the inherent worth and dignity of every human being and the right of everyone to be treated fairly and with respect. I believe that every individual is worthy of dignity and respect and each individual has the ability to become self-sufficient to make their own choices for themselves. When we, as a society, try to see the world through the eyes of the less fortunate, we gain empathy and understanding instead of focusing on our differences. Only when every individual of a community is afforded the same level of dignity and respect can a society truly be called civilized. Those who cannot demand social justice for themselves must have a voice to demand it for them. It is my hope that by earning my Master’s degree in Social Work I can be one of those voices.
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That’s very well written! Congratulations!
I have a couple of suggestions:
In the second paragraph, replace the second-person . "Sometimes life can be challenging, but if you are able to persevere, you came come out a stronger person because of those situations."
to
"Sometimes, life can be challenging, but if one learns to persevere, they can become a stronger person by overcoming those situations."
Also, in the second paragraph, put a period after " understand the despair and frustration to those who find coping with everyday life difficult."
3rd para, first sentence: "I had a mentor in my life who taught and guided me and because of this I recognized the impact she had on my life inspired me to want to help others."
to
"I had a mentor in my life who taught and guided me. The impact she had on my life has inspired me to want to help others.
3rd para, fifth sentence: "It was a social worker on Skid Row Los Angeles who started me on the path toward healing my own life." to "A social worker on Skid Row in Los Angeles started me on the path toward healing my own life."
3rd para, last sentence: "I believe that my professional calling is to help young people. I discovered this during the time I worked at Harbor View Adolescent Center, a level-fourteen group home facility.
4th para – change "But" to "However,"
5th para – change "I have always lived by the motto" do unto others as you would have done to you", and feel that the best way to do this by furthering the ideal of social justice in the way I live and work."
to
"I have always lived by the motto, "Do unto others as you would have done to you." I feel that the best way to do this by furthering the ideal of social justice in the way I live and work.
Again, that is very well written. May God bless your efforts.
I’d be happy to look over your essay. What you’ve written is quite solid, it just needs some tweaking and basic polishing. I can’t correct the errors or make suggestions here.
If you’d like me to fine tune it for you, email me. I will send you my direct email address and you can then send me the file. I will mark it up and send it right back to you.